Friday, December 7, 2007

Ebaying for compulsive shoppers

Heart pounding. mind racing. My mouth is dry. The thrill of the chase is palpable. There is 8 hours left until the close of the auction. I am still in first place with my bid of 4.02, but anything could happen.The excitement of it all makes me want to take breaks to run around the room to release my frustrations with those bidders somewhere out in rural Montana working with totally different time zones. Those jerks.
I had never used ebay until this week. You might think that is strange if you know me. If you know me you would know that I like to shop. A lot. I am a consumer, an impulse buyer, the best kind. I get a couple of catalogs every day. In really any medium or environment, I am at home, so why not ebay? Seems perfect. Well, if you ask that, you might as well ask a crackhead, "why not try heroin?". stupid suggestion.
Why let me start up something else that will worsen my addiction? It's a bad idea. I haven't started because I knew what would happen. I would get caught up in ebay bidding wars, eventually running mad, rampantly spending the little money I have for whole foods scones and tea. I would be sent in for shopaholic rehab and it would necessitate frequent SA meetings, a sponsor, and changing my normal travel routes to go only through residential areas.
Well I started up the ebaying with the first annual ebay secret santa, because its always better when you win it. It was a thrilling experience buying something for my special someone. There were so many choices! I ended up winning things that I wasn't planning on, so they are coming to me and I may have to re-ebay them, but that is unknown territory . At this point, I think I am pretty well controlled, but who knows what could happen. I blamed Hermy for opening this can of worms, but it brings me joy, so I quickly forgave him.


Joanna said...

I understand. My heart was racing, too. I won 3 different bids. I spent money I don't have. I stopped doing homework. My name is Jobonga and I am an impulsive online shopper.

DarcyM said...

Thank you for sharing that with the group Jobonga.

Evan said...

Whoever bought the Kermit (Joanna) is the greatest eBay Christmas Auction Blowout Competition champion of all time. And I am talking about all future eBay Christmas Auction Blowout Competition championships. Darcy this means you. I can't believe you allowed Joanna to win this competition. Until just now, you have always been my favorite Rochesterian. Miles ahead of David, for obvious reasons, and several steps ahead of Joanna, because I always got the feeling that she didn't appreciate my special talents. Whatever they are. The best thing about that crazy run-on is it isn't even a sentence. Anyway, Darcy I fully expect you to step your game up. Be like Cohutta and man up!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want you to be my favorite Rochesterian, step up.

wb said...

I'm embarrassed that he is my brother.