Wednesday, December 26, 2007

For my tiny baby starfish hands.

On Christmas I revealed my secret santa booty. I could hardly wait to open my gifts. As soon as morning rolled around, I ran to the tree to start the gleeful gift opening.
I started with the first box. I thought I had it all figured out. When I inspected the box last thursday, I noticed that it said Felix the Cat wristwatch. I was pretty smug at that point, thinking I had unearthed the secret.
I was wrong. I instead received a wooden starfish. To remind me of my tiny baby starfish hands.

I then went for the other gifts, excited to see what my tiny baby starfish hands would be able to uncover. I was pleasantly surprised to see hoops. The biggest, most garish hoops I have ever been able to put in my ears.
I couldn't put all of them on at once so I had to put some of them on my wrists. My secret santa Ebay gift extravaganza was quite enjoyable. I will be wearing some hoops on new years with Kermit the Frog.


Friday, December 21, 2007

Sweater Thursday: Old Man Style.

This is my pops in his sweater. I didn't have a sweater on yesterday, nor do I have one on today. The reason for that is because my luggage is in philadelphia, with no word on when it is going to come to my house. I think my dad looks great in his high waisted cuffed pants with the white athletic socks. You can't see his cool high top keens, or kick ass keens (my mother's moniker), but believe me, they are on. In his retired life, his only assignment is to read the Post-Dispatch everyday. He is quite worldly and worthy of sweater thursday.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Poking is not fun.

Well, that isn't exactly true all of the time... But, regardless, I want to talk to the men out there who like to flirt by poking the ladies in their mid sections. Don't do it again. No girl wants to be poked in the love handle or the stomach. It reminds them they shouldn't have had that bagel in the morning or that they should have gone to the gym the day before. No one likes to be reminded of their bad choices.
What is the root of this obnoxious behavior? It reminds me of the playground, when we would flirt by hitting. Sometimes I still do this, but I think it is because my tendency towards violence and my short fuse.
Bottom line: If you like me, don't poke me, because nothing makes me dislike you faster. Most, if not all, girls agree. If you don't, then you must have a six pack or not care that you have a little extra in the middle, and to you I say: good for you.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

i love pyramid schemes. Everybody wins! I stole this from Joanna and Whitney, who I expect to see something lovely from at new years.

I hereby pledge to send a handmade gift to the first three people who comment on this entry. No real promises about time frame, but it’ll be within the next 365 days. In return, you have to post the same offer on your blog, and prepare to send a gift to three other people.

I am super crafty, so you know it is going to be awesome, start commenting.



Sweater Thursday

I think if you have seen my computer, you know that it kicks ass. It has a webcam which is responsible for most of these pictures. Along with this webcam, to soothe the masses, apple made a program that can distort and contort you in any manner. I chose comic book effect here and I think it really highlights my sweater. I am an impulse shopper, as you know from the previous post. I bought this Jcrew sweater from the outlets on columbus day. I also bought it in gray, which I have already worn on a sweater day. I think repeating is alright only if it is in a different shade and if the picture containing the sweater has a completely different tone.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Ebaying for compulsive shoppers

Heart pounding. mind racing. My mouth is dry. The thrill of the chase is palpable. There is 8 hours left until the close of the auction. I am still in first place with my bid of 4.02, but anything could happen.The excitement of it all makes me want to take breaks to run around the room to release my frustrations with those bidders somewhere out in rural Montana working with totally different time zones. Those jerks.
I had never used ebay until this week. You might think that is strange if you know me. If you know me you would know that I like to shop. A lot. I am a consumer, an impulse buyer, the best kind. I get a couple of catalogs every day. In really any medium or environment, I am at home, so why not ebay? Seems perfect. Well, if you ask that, you might as well ask a crackhead, "why not try heroin?". stupid suggestion.
Why let me start up something else that will worsen my addiction? It's a bad idea. I haven't started because I knew what would happen. I would get caught up in ebay bidding wars, eventually running mad, rampantly spending the little money I have for whole foods scones and tea. I would be sent in for shopaholic rehab and it would necessitate frequent SA meetings, a sponsor, and changing my normal travel routes to go only through residential areas.
Well I started up the ebaying with the first annual ebay secret santa, because its always better when you win it. It was a thrilling experience buying something for my special someone. There were so many choices! I ended up winning things that I wasn't planning on, so they are coming to me and I may have to re-ebay them, but that is unknown territory . At this point, I think I am pretty well controlled, but who knows what could happen. I blamed Hermy for opening this can of worms, but it brings me joy, so I quickly forgave him.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Egg DIY

1. Take egg and hard boil it.
2. Crack and peel the top and the bottom
3. Blow REALLY hard through the top of the egg.

It's true. Here are the shattered remains of the shells.
try it yourself. You can't stop blowing.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Sweater Thursday Thanksgiving Style

Thanksgiving comes only once a year, so pig roasting is obviously a must. There will be more posts to follow on the pig, but at this very moment the aroma of piglet can be smelled from at least a block away. It smells of deliciousness. Don't be jealous. Or do, it's your call.

This sweater belongs to one W. H. Barnebey. It is a light gappy sweater, which is good because the roasting area is quite warm. I had it on backwards to highlight my devil may care sweater wearing habits. In this picture, Whitney is taking care of business and I am just trying to look pretty.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


I found this on post secret today. I found it quite disturbing. Maybe you do too. Who does that? I am sure someone would have sex with her without a condom on. Maybe not this guy, but somebody.
What's the back story here? Is this her roommate that she is obsessed with and now has his throw away semen love child? Is this her brother or father, in some sort of freaky incestuous triste? The possibilities are really endless.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

the Big V

This sweater is not a particularly good look for me. Regardless, I needed a sweater for today, so I am wearing it and now receiving weird looks at work. Thanks. I usually enjoy wearing the sweater/ buttondown shirt combo, but this sweater seems to have stretched out beyond recognition. I got it at the GAP, in an airport. I think that speaks to my consumerism, that I am willing to shop at exorbitant prices just to be able to purchase something when I am bored.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

A Shoe and A Do

Well, since she really wants me to follow her lead in a more organized format, I am pairing this delightful shoe with who I would do.
Here is my shoe:
No, that isn't a camera trick. Yes I can actually do that. No, I do not find it uncomfortable. The shoe is a sea foam green low top converse with dark green laces and magenta stitching. I think they are lovely shoes that can go with almost any outfit. I got them at urban outfitters in Harvard square about 4 years ago or so while visiting Joanna and maybe david and haskell.

Here is who i would do:
Michael Vartan, who speaks english and french fluently and was a complete bad ass on Alias. Intelligent, well dressed, well mannered sort of man, who also just seems like a nice guy. Oh, and he is quite attractive.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Who would I do?

Mos def. Most Definitely. I would go so far as to say I would have his love child. I don't have much else to say, I think he speaks for himself.

Magenta!

I have big calves. Its true. I have had to live with the shame of never being able to wear boots taller than ankle height. I understand that they construct boots for a wide calf. I will not wear those! I don't have fat legs! So, you can see my dilemma. I desperately want to wear cute boots, but my monstrous legs have really prevented me from doing so. Until now.
So today is boot monday. These are apparently made to wear over pants, so this is probably why they fit over my huge gastrocs, but I am cool with it. I decided to go all out and pair them with the loudest color tights I could find. I am thinking it isn't so "work appropriate", but I am just going to wear my lab coat.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Sweater Thursday Redo

Sweater thursday makes a comeback. On friday! unbelievable but true!
I am wearing quite the cute outfit today hopefully to make up for my non sweater sweater posting yesterday. It was selfish to use my thursday post as a showcase for my hair. I am sorry. I hope this post begins to make up for the mistake I made.

click to make the picture bigger.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Sweater Thursdays

I do have a sweater on, but that isn't what's really important. What is important is my new haircut. Even shorter, even more bangs! very exciting. Someone at work told me I look really young, but with the wrinkles and the gray hair I have been sporting, I don't really think this could be true.

Monday, November 5, 2007

How uncool am I?

the answer: pretty uncool, and let me tell you just some of the reasons why:

1. I think it is really cool to order 10 dollar t-shirts on the internet. It is one of the highlights of my day to look at www.shirtwoot.com. I already have 6 shirts, and I am sure I will buy more. I combine these "cool" t-shirts with colorful shoes that never really match in a conventional way.

2. I like to listen to music that most people have never heard of so that I can feel superior to them. The main result is that these people hear the names of some of the bands I listen to and then they tune me out. real cool.

3. I go to movies by myself and laugh really loudly at scenes no one else thinks are funny.

4. Sometimes I relapse into science talk when I am talking to lay people. Their eyes begin to glaze over before I finally get the picture.

5. I make itemized lists.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Real Girls Aren't Made of Silicone.

Ok. I just went on a date, by myself, to see Lars and the Real Girl. It was quite good, in a quirky, independent movie sort of way. There were only 5 people in the movie theater, and I laughed at all of the awkward parts while the rest of the people were silent. My favorite type of movie going experience. One big message: wherever they live they must be really bored there. And cold. So bored as to take out a life size anatomically correct doll and treat her like she is a real woman. That is not just a mannequin, this is the real deal. She must be really heavy, and they had to dress her, bathe her, etc. That would be too much work for me. It is enough for me to do it for myself and the cat.

Have you ever had an imaginary friend? I don't remember having one, but I would enjoy some audience participation on this one.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Sweater Thursdays

Kim took my picture in lab this morning, and I think it really captures my spirit of not really liking having my picture taken unless it is perfect. Thus, the annoying girl giggles. This one is definitely not me at my most photogenic, but I have decided that I should get over it.

I am wearing another boden sweater that is short, but i have paired it with pants which are high waisted, thus solving the problem of probable belly exposure.

This sweater like last weeks, has buttons along the shoulder, but you probably can't see them in this picture. Tough. I also can't show off my bruise here, but believe me, its still there.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Draggin' ass.

Boy, being a dragon is hard. I feel like I just have to be "on" all of the time, prepared for action at any moment. Action being breathing flames on anyone that i deem unsuitable for co-habtitation, scratching people with my massive claws and, of course, eating small townspeople as they scream for mercy. Obviously.

I have been wearing this costume all around the health center today. People see me and just start laughing, so I am thinking it is a pretty awesome costume. That, or pretty humiliating. I prefer to go with the first scenario.


The picture above is one example of blatant sexual harrassment, I just wanted to show that it happens to dragons as well. You can't just get a fine piece of tail like that just because you feel like you are entitled to it. I later beat her with my tail to teach her a lesson. Boom.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Sweater Thursdays

This morning I tried on about 5 sweaters before settling on this one. I enjoy the buttons. I know they aren't toggles, but I think they give it a colorful je ne sais quoi. I am also going for a different look with the picture, sort of a spontaneous webcam pic where i am full of motion.

My sweater collection is quickly becoming unacceptable. They are too long, too big, too ugly. I don't know what to do about this because I am saving up for an iphone and can't spend money. You may have to deal with repeats. I am just warning everyone now.

This sweater, while the pick today, has one fatal flaw. It is short, almost a belly sweater. It is from a company that makes high waisted pants, so I think they would balance each other out if worn together. But, today I am wearing low rise jeans. Big mistake. Big. Thus necessitating the donning of the lab coat.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Sweater Thursdays

This sweater comes to you thanks to the letter B. B for Banana Republic and B for Bruise, because I get to show it off. 8 days and going strong. I always thought my bruising was fairly normal, but the more comments I get, the more I am beginning to think i was, and am, sorely mistaken. I am only in a skirt so I could wear this light sweater, made of cotton with some silk thrown in for good measure. I think the overall look I am going for is sophisticated chick who don't take no crap from nobody.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Bica ≠ muenster


We are back for a second installment with this post. I was at my favorite store, talking to my favorite cheese man, and he presented me with this sign. The sign of BICA. "Made with cow, sheep, and goat milk. Complex, yet not overpowering." He told me they were never going to sell it again, and since I am the only one who likes the bica, I could have the sign. How thoughty. Just because no one bought, you never want to sell it again? I think that is slightly short sighted, but I am no cheese buyer, so I have no control. I think the people of west hartford, connecticut are losing out on one of the great cheeses of portugal, maybe of the world. At least I have the sign to remind me that there are great cheeses out there, even if they are unappreciated.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I think I have an imaginary abusive spouse

Maybe someone punches me at night. The bruises are getting out of control, soon my skin will be purple and mottled all over my body. Right now, I wear them as my badge of courage, including my now partially paralyzed lip (see previous post). I tell people they are from soccer, but perhaps I have someone who hides in my closet until night falls and comes out and applies direct pressure to various parts of my body.

This picture is Day 6 post bruising, I am sure it will only get prettier.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Sweater Thursdays

Ok this sweater is a woodbury commons purchase. What is woodbury commons? well, it is only the greatest outlet mall. EVER. This is a jcrew sweater, which i am the proud owner of not only this one in grey, but also in royal blue. beautiful. goes with my eyes.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

fat lip.

Last night I was elbowed in the face during soccer and got a fat lip. The ladies on the field told me they couldn't even really notice. I think they were lying. tell me what you think.
I asked my boss, and the first thing he said was Oh my god, but he was apparently referring to something on my forehead. great.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Coffee Shop Going/laundry Doing Saturday mornings?

Perhaps we can have laundry mornings on saturdays as well as sweater thursdays? I need more routine in my life. I should be doing my laundry every week, but most of the time i stretch it out, wearing my jeans until they can stand on their own. Here is a picture of me at tisane, a nice little coffee shop next to Wash Tub, which lures me with its plethora of 30lb washers. Fantastic. Do you know how much laundry you can put into a 30lb washer? well 30 lbs, but that is a lot of laundry. So i go for capacity and for the crackheads.
One time I gave a guy 50 cents and he said, that's all you got? Yeah, that's it man. These quarters are pretty precious and I am not going to give them all away. What am I, stupid? I want to dry for more than 8 minutes. really. I don't like it when beggars hit me up and then are ungrateful. They probably make more money than i do. I at least want a good story. There is a man that works this block who has a whole scenario going about how he just got out of prison and he needs to get to his mom's house. He just needs 3 more dollars for a cab.... This guy is good. I have heard him work this on several people and he is spot on. He wears slightly outdated clothes, making sense if he had gotten out of prison and only had his lakers jersey to keep him warm. Who likes the lakers anymore? He had his hair in thick corn rows, like the corn rows you would have your nancy do for you. I think he was also wearing high tops. It would have been perfect if they were reeboks, jumping jack flash style, but you can't have it all.
So if it isn't Saturday morning laundry doing, maybe just random picture taking saturday during your daily routine.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Sweater of the Moment Thursdays

I am following the advice of jobonga by putting on a sweater today. I couldn't really wear it except for this picture because it is too hot here. But, I wore it. That is important. I picked it because it goes with my shirt and it allows me to wear gold hoops. I love hoops.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Graduate students are quite awkward and I think I am becoming more and more like them by the second. The long pauses, the glances to the right and the left, the grimace when no one is saying anything. I just say this because we had lunch with a speaker and I went through all of these gestures through out the hour of me not really saying anything. Which is painful for me, you all know that.
I tried for awhile to get the others to become more social and less toolish, but it isn't working. I think this means I must adapt to be more like them.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Let the judging begin.

the long and the short of it.

Why do men prefer long hair over short hair? I am getting my hair cut shortly (4pm today) and all of the time, the ladies are saying go for it, but the men look horrified. I guess i just don't understand what is at the heart of this gender schism. When women have long hair, they tend to just put it up anyway. So what is the point of having all of that hair if it is hidden? Is it a secret treasure that gets to be touched in private? They can touch short hair too. I will have a before and after montage to put up later this evening so we can discuss.

Monday, September 3, 2007

hipsterette

Whitney and to live without Regrets have aptly described hipster men, but they have yet to describe the hipster lady, who has to work twice as hard to be termed as such. I was recently at a pseudo hipster party, where I was decidedly out of place.
First of all, my clothes matched and I was not wearing a graphic tee that no one has ever seen before. That is a necessity for the hipster lady, as she has rumaged through high price consignment stores (she will never tell you this though) for some 70s relic that is so wore it is almost see through. She has layered this tee shirt with some garish color that is far from complementary, that is how she roles.
Accessories: I had no plastic jewelry on. The hipster lady enjoys a nice bright plastic bead necklace to be hanging from her neck. Or maybe some hideously large pendant.
Shoes: I also had reef flip flops on. Definitely not hipster. If I had been a real hipsterette, I would have been wearing keds. I would rather vomit. Maybe my sea foam green converse would have been acceptable, but I hadn't thought of that at the time. How stupid of me.
They were all smoking, all had either duct tape or chain wallets, and all they could say to me was, wow you must be really smart after they found out i am in school forever. They were trading Halloween costume ideas, a pair of them had decided to be Air Supply. neat. I decided that drinking would help me fit in. it didn't. I am no hipsterette.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Filipinos are thrilling.


This video is thrilling. I really enjoy the person playing the girlfriend, you don't see their face until you get pretty into the video. I heard about it on wait wait don't tell me.

here is a video of them doing radio gaga Why wouldn't prisoners be happier while dancing? I think they have hit on something big here.

Oh and vote on the poll. even if you are lame, you should be able spot a real lame-O.

Friday, August 17, 2007

David, you are my world.


My last post was about my trip. It was the first of probably many because i don't have much going on in the CT. David responded quite poorly. I write this blog to him. others may read.
David do NOT be miffed that I wrote about rod. He may be the start of my new california dream, but that does not mean you are not an integral part. You told me that we could not get married because I was of loose morals, but now you are angry that you don't take a more central role in my california blog report? I can read between the lines.... You are hurt, but I think I have sufficiently valid reasons to write about other men.

I will point out the fact that you will:
1. not dance with me for more than 5 secs before you say you have to go get a drink or go to the bathroom
2. will not hold my hand while joanna and whitney are holding hands, thus leaving me feeling unloved.

its cool, but don't be offended when I am more interested in a man with a fantastic mustache, as you have rebuffed my every attempt at intimacy. I must move on. I hope you can understand.

I have attached some pictures of the two of us that should illustrate my points.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

California in all of its glory.

ah California. It was glorious, and I will be moving there as soon as possible, finding Rod the abalone diver/Ranger, and living on the beach on the lost coast. Forget medicine. I will swim with the seals. Rod had the best mustache i have seen in quite some time, almost a handle bar, but better and a flavor saver thrown in there to boot. Too bad we don't have a picture of him.
I will show some pics on here when Whitney posts something. Unfortunately for you I was pretty tame, i don't think there are really any compromising pictures of me at all.

Friday, August 3, 2007

california!

california, the land of the golden sun... or wait is that another state. Well i am excited regardless and hopefully i can meet arnold and maybe maria. I am in the airport now on the free wifi. I think it is one of the only airports to still have free wi fi. Soon i will be in the sun and away from connecticut. I can't say i am not excited. I will post again during the trip, so the lurkers have something to look forward to.

Thursday, August 2, 2007




If i were a simpson i might look a little bit like this, but not really. Viv did this on her blog, so i decided to be cool and put it on mine. yeah, i am not cool.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

The portugeuse sunglasses are out of exile.

Perhaps you will be happy to know they have started to breathe life once again. I got them fixed for the california trip. I can't wait to look stylish in the california sunshine. Whit will try to match me with 5 dollar sunglasses from some bargain bin. He will fail, as my sunglasses are glorious. Jo, you better also be sporting something fantastic. I know you can.

Friday, July 27, 2007

mind your Ps and Qs

Today, i was speaking to someone and they commented about my blog. They didn't take the time to comment so i thought i would write a little something for them.
You can't not comment after reading. It isn't polite. The whole point of the personal blog is to facilitate discussion, and, from reading recent posts, to insult me. Saying nothing is almost worst, because you read but do not care enough to comment. You can't be an avid nerdess reader if you are not going to comment. You can't bring it up when you see me and pretend you know all about me because you read my blog. If you don't comment, then you are a blogger stalker. That is pretty poor.

If need be i will change my blogspot so you can't ever read it again. You know who you are. Don't think i won't do it.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Yes! jobonga just called me a fatty cat lady! let's keep the insults flowing. The pit in my stomach is coming back... Whitney, i know you have something to contribute. You are vain and mean spirited, so get to it.

depression is the best medicine.

If when you get depressed you don't like to eat. It's super. Its no effort dieting. Just eating a cracker is almost too much food. I think i may milk this blue-ness i am feeling until i drop those 10 lbs i wanted to lose. So this is the perfect time to be mean to me and help me on my way.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

skinny mirrors


The mirror in my room, the only full length mirror in the apartment, has been sabotaging me for approximately 2 and half years now. Every morning i look to it for guidance as to my fashion choice of the day, and everyday, a thumbs up. I leave the apartment thinking i am looking good. However, the harsh lighting and mirrors of the health center do not lie. My true form is revealed and it isn't always good. Glazing into skinny mirrors in the beginning of the day are a big problem. We should be looking in those mirrors only in the evening, when everything is settled. Then we would be feeling good. I must now proceed with caution every time i feel like i am looking svelte. Study the mirrors in your domicile. Maybe they are not what they seem.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

naked cycling.

There are times when being naked can be fun and exciting. I am sure you can think of a few right now. One of them that does not come to mind is cycling. Sitting on a bike seat is not pleasant, even with clothes. The concept of naked cycling gives road rash a totally new, even more painful, meaning. I speak of this because while in Asheville NC, we witnessed naked cycling.

My mom and I were driving past a small shopping area downtown and all of a sudden, i caught site of a naked back side of a woman on the side street. Not that that wouldn't be a site in and of itself, but then i saw her mounting a bicycle. I couldn't believe my eyes. Yet, as soon as I saw it, it was gone. I thought it was a mirage of naked people, perhaps i had some yet undiscovered fetish for naked cyclists.

My mother, being as connected as she is, discovered this naked cycling is an event that happens every year all over the world. I discovered this website that chronicles the naked biking in all its glory. They are hoping to reach a "Critical Ass" of people concerned by the pollution of the earth by riding bikes naked. They certainly got my attention. I think people that like to ride bikes aren't like most naked people out there. They are a little less flabby perhaps. Just better advertising for their cause.

Wiiiiiiii

Tom, my wonderful brother bought me my Wii. It wasn't me. It was all him. I have told most people this, but i want to also shout out on the main blog page. GO TOM!

I will buy new friends

I will lure them into my apartment with the idea of boxing, bowling, and other sport party games. We will seek out the best flat screen tv and play table tennis until we can no longer move. Yes, the wii will be my savior from this world of loneliness. No more friday nights watching toy story 2 by myself! i am feeling better already and it hasn't even arrived.
If anyone comes up with any tips for buying more friends, please post.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Ray reply

Read the previous blog if you have not already.

Darcy,

What I sent was a compilation poem. It was certain lines from my favorite lines in literature. It was unique; no one could ever chosen the exact quotes that I did, and It was sent to you, and you alone! I spent two hours writing it. I just thought you should know.
Also, age is irrelevant. Have a great life!
Ray

Darcy, I hope you know CPR because you've taken my breath away


I received this myspace message the other day and i thought i would share it....

When I first saw your picture, I said to myself, "Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright" !!!

I hardly thought that there existed such a woman outside of a picture frame, or the covers of a romance novel. You are my North, my South, my East, and West; You are my working week, and my Sunday rest.

There could have been no two hearts so open; no tastes so similar; no feelings so in unison. Hold me closer than you'd ever dare. I'll be waiting for you, deep inside my heart. My heart is a habitation, large enough for many guests, but lonely and chill, without a household fire. I long to kindle one!

I'm looking for a first mate to sail the choppy seas of life with. We can charter our own course together, and weather any storm that comes our way. If this baits you, then drop me a line.


Ray


P.S. If you're in a serious relationship with someone, or if you're not interested, you don't have to respond. If I don't hear back from you, I won't contact you again.
However, if you're curious, but timid, I implore you to be bold, and take a chance. As Helen Keller said, "Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."

I especially like the boat reference, as i enjoy being out on the water. I am bold, but a 41 yo balding man doesn't do it for me. I will write him back the following:

Hello Ray-
I appreciated your message, but in the end i must decline. I think our age difference (15 years) is a little too much, even for me. Also, your message, yes full of wonderful analogies of a life together, smacks of a form letter, with my name inserted. In order for real contact to occur, the message must incorporate something from my profile.
Darcy

Now i am wondering if he will write back something snarky...



Friday, May 25, 2007

Escape Artist


I am wearing my Macgyver T shirt today and i feel like I am now able to get out of any situation. I can use a pen, rubber bands and my birkenstock to repel down the wall of the health center and flee to safety. I could just walk out of one of the many exits, but that would be too easy.
He also a slight mullet, more like a mullee, which i think is quite flattering. Perhaps it will make a comeback. I have seen a few femullets around here, so you never know.
I also sport a Jack Bauer T shirt, but other think it resembles Jeb Bush. Jeb doesn't do it for me, but i wear the T shirt anyway. It has a rainbow and a smoking gun on it, i don't think it gets better than that.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Jim Watson, in bobblehead form

Yes, Jim Watson, the double helix himself, comes in the form of a doll with a wobbly head. Complete with his signature cold spring harbor beach comber hat, and while he isn't hitting on women, he is wearing that hat and binoculars around his neck, looking at birds.
Kevin got this for me while he was just there for a genome conference. thrilling. Watson was apparently signing books, so he could have signed the bobblehead, but maybe he wouldn't be so into that. Maybe next time i go i will bring it with me and work my magic.

Now he is sitting on my desk, head swaying ever so gently.

Monday, April 30, 2007

CertainDRI certainly keeps me dry

Some might call me healthy (albeit with high sympathetic tone), while others might think the insensible losses that i exude are quite disgusting. Yes, I sweat. I sweat when i get nervous, when i am running, or doing any sort of physical activity. I do not sweat while i am eating, so at least i know that part of my life is safe. I am alright with sweating, but sometimes it is a bit inappropriate and embarrassing. Through experience, I have learned to keep my arms down while wearing any sort of button down shirt and to wear a cardigan while doing presentations. Layering is key for people like me.
I was discussing this problem with a colleague and they suggested a prescription strength antiperspirant (available at your local CVS), they couldn't remember the name, but were confident in my ability to sniff it out. That i did. I bought Certain Dri immediately. It has 15% aluminum cholride in it. I am not sure what it does, but it certainly keeps me dry. You must put it on at night, let it get in there and do its job. And, boy how it does its job. Joanna had asked specifically for me to sing certain dri's praises. Full of praise am I for Certain Dri!
There was a lengthy insert with some warnings on it that i didn't read. It is possible i will develop tumors in my armpits at some point in my life, but at least i am dry.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Wedding Berzerker

Tomorrow night is the wedding to end all weddings, namely of Tom and Missy. There are people being flown in from poland, we all know what that means. Crazy polish guys whose only command of the english language is within the realm of profanities. I am sure there will be dancing and carousing, lots of carousing. More to come after tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Bulls and Bars

New Haven has a new attraction which i happened to find on Saturday night. It is contained within a bar tucked in on a small street of no consequence. We took Missy out for her bachelorette party and it was on the scheduled route. No we didn't have to wear penis hats or anything phallic of any kind, but we did go to a bar where you pay to get smacked. 3 dollars gets you up on the bar where a bartender whacks you with either a paddle or your own belt and then proceeds to pour a shot down your mouth. That isn't the most exciting part of this bar, it is the mechanical bull. We had to stay until 11 so we could get on it, but it was well worth it. Missy rode that thing like a champ, and decided to tell subsequent riders to grow a penis when they fell off quickly.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

public restrooms are not a playground.

I have been noticing that people think they can go crazy in the bathrooms in the Health Center. If you want to pee on the seat, do it at home. When you do pee on seats, know that you have ruined that toilet for the rest of us all day long. It is ridiculous, and these are women! i can't even begin to imagine what the men's bathroom looks like.
I am wondering if this is only a health center thing, for when i go into the bathrooms at nordstroms I don't see pee on seats, I see only lavish, lovely bathrooms, complete with sitting rooms and the occasional chaise.
ladies: let's keep the bodily fluids in the bowls or in your bodies.

Monday, March 26, 2007

sometimes i am forced to sit on a plastic chair.

You remember those friends house's you went to where they had plastic on the couch? i don't. I didn't have any of those friends, because seriously, who does that? Maybe some 80 year old lady who liked the feel of plastic on her bare legs. This new lab i am in has a chair covered in plastic and sometimes i must sit in it. It seems to be here for perhaps bench work at a desk, which doesn't make sense in the first place really, but it is plastic covered nonetheless. I haven't asked my new PI because perhaps the graduate student who sat here had an incontinence problem. I am just not sure. I will continue to sit in it, but i will try to contain my bodily functions.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

bica = muenster


There is, I must say, a slight resemblance in taste, but the bica is much more refined and pleasing to the palate. Muenster is a cheese one puts on a sandwich with a meat of your choice and perhaps a lovely mustard. Bica however can stand alone, independent and regal. The texture of the muenster was not on par with the bica, i think the taste is somewhat similar, there is a hint of muenster there, but i must say i still enjoy the bica and will continue for years to come. Aaron, in our discussion this morning it was revealed that you were obsessed with muenster as a child (did this include dressing up as a slice of muenster for halloween? ). I think this must give you an unconscious bias to automatically put cheese that you find appealing into the muenster category. You are still a cheese man extraordinaire, but i have my eye on you. Next time you tell me the blue tastes of muenster, i will know where your real loyalties lie.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Cheese off


I remember a long time ago, in a far away place called boston... I came to visit and we had a lovely cheese party. On the block there was perhaps some maytag blue, some goat, and a cheese i had never had, bica. A mild portuguese cheese made from a blend of goat, sheep, and cow's milk. A cheese made from 3 different animal's milk must be better than one? I thought, as did the others, the cheese was delightful, but had yet to see it again. That is, until 2 days ago while perusing the cheese counter while stealing cheese from the tray. There it was, just as i had remembered.

I came back this morning for my tuesday morning tea and scone and told Aaron, cheese man extraordinaire, how happy i was that the cheese i had once enjoyed so much was in the case.

He then said, "you like that?! Bica just tastes like muenster. No one buys it".

"Well sir, I beg to differ", I replied.

We couldn't resolve our differences because i needed to leave the store before the tears came, but tomorrow we will have a bica:muenster taste test to see how good of a cheese man he really is. My taste buds are highly sophisticated. Aaron, get ready.

Friday, March 9, 2007

Rat brains.


I like rats, at least in this scenario it is so cute and furry. Ignore the red eyes. what do you is he thinking about? I think he is thinking about why he can't gnaw on the thinker. must make him ornery.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

JOanna is back on blog world!


I was very excited to receive a post from Joanna herself. In the cyber flesh. I think this could be a great forum for her to show off her creative writing skills. I am also glad she likes butts. They are fantastic body parts.
I poked my gamer boyfriend in the butt today. I don't think he enjoyed it very much. I think he should loosen up. The workplace is a great place for ass grabbing and inappropriate behavior.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

I like butts. Do you?


Today i tried out my ass tapping experiment. I touched a nice round bottom to give them a little proverbial high five. Not that they did anything that extraordinary, but i wanted to try congratulating a job well done with a nice little swat. It worked like a charm. I think from now on i will tap an ass wherever i go and put a smile on their face. This will be a surefire way of making new friends.

These butts are quite nice. I haven't found an extraordinary bottom like this, but i will keep searching until the day that i can touch one.

Monday, March 5, 2007

hug it out.


I recently read this. Like the monkeys coming home from hunting for food, maybe we should hug it out more often to show we are not hostile. Maybe a nice little tapping of the but might work as well. I think we might have to think about where that would be appropriate, but both forms of communique might work. Please adopt these in your workplace and let me know how it goes over.

hug it out.